Summarising 2018- what have I learnt? What am I excited for in 2019?


2018 is finally coming to an end, I say finally but it feels like it was January only a few short weeks ago! This year has definitely been a roller coaster of a year for me, a lot has happened in the last 12 months, and I have learnt a few very important lessons along the way and I can honestly say I have come out of this year feeling wiser, older and a hell of a lot more prepared for 2019, and for things to come. 
It has been a very stressful year, financially and emotionally, and at points it felt like there was no light at the end of the tunnel, it was one dark, long road with no where to turn.
It is great to say that going into 2019 does not feel like that at all. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, there is a path to follow and I am really looking forward to what is to come. 

I just want to summarise a few highlights of 2018 before we turn the page and close another chapter...

We moved into our lovely little apartment, I got a really good job at Yorkshire Building Society, I started counselling which has helped me massively throughout the year, I cut off some toxic people and I focused on those who really matter. Anthony and I managed to work through our differences and have come out even stronger and a lot closer, we have been able to spend some time on dates, going to the Bring Me The Horizon concert and plenty of trips to ice stones for waffles, we had a few really good holidays to York too. 
I managed to get debt free, which is something I have struggled with all year, and definitely did not see happening this year.

Isabella has come on leaps and bounds this year. She started walking at 18 months old and since starting nursery she has come on so well with her speech, able to put words together so we can have a bit of a conversation with a huge variety of words. She is so bright, she surprises me every single day with new things she has learned and continue to learns. I am so proud of the gentle natured child she is turning out to be, and I am super excited to see what she does next. There is never a dull moment with Isabella in our lives, she makes each day a magical adventure, one that I am honoured to be a part of. 

I feel like the hard work is slowly paying off, we have so much to look forward to next year. Anthony and I are moving in with his parents to save money for a mortgage, we have worked out a budget for saving each month, and we plan on going on a spa night away at some point to relax and rejuvenate and just enjoy some peace and quiet, which is something we have not yet had the chance to do together as a couple. We have more holidays to York planned, and hopefully there will be a proposal at some point as well...I have hinted it enough times this year! I have also applied for university again, but this time to do a course I know I have interest in and something I know I will enjoy, for no other reason than to expand my knowledge and push myself to try something new.

2018 has taught me just how important family is and that it's okay to lean on others and accept support from those around you, it has taught me to trust those I love and let them in so they can understand and support me through difficult times. I have learned to slowly break down my walls with Anthony and start talking to him about my issues instead of just pretending nothing is wrong. I have also learned that not everybody you care about and not everybody that you call a friend or family member is good for you and that it is okay to cut them out of your life if you feel they are dragging you down, or holding you back in some way. It is important that we love each other, but that we love ourselves even more, because our mental health matters. I have learnt that sometimes its better to just take some time for yourself, even if that is a simple as making time to read a few chapters of a book every night, or having a long hot bath at the end of a particularly difficult day; whatever it may be, as long as you are taking the time for yourself and looking after yourself that is all that matters.

I hope each of you have had a lovely 2018 and that 2019 is even better!

Thanks for reading, 

Body Shop Beauty Routine

Hey Guys!

I was out shopping this weekend and one of my good friends recommended I tried Body Shop for new face products as my skin has had a super bad breakout again! I suffer with super sensitive combination skin so I'm always weary about trying new products. 

A lady at Body Shop talked me through what would work well for my skin and how I could use each product to help tackle my difficult and stubborn skin. She was super friendly and patient with me as I tried out a few different products before finally settling on these and I now have a beauty regime from start to finish!

The first product I use is the camomile "sumptuous cleansing butter" and its honestly incredible. It smells so nice, almost like a 'clean' smell if there even is one, and it is so so soft on my skin. You don't need a lot with this as it spreads quite far. I don't even use a baby wipe to remove the thick of my foundation, I just use my fingers to spread it over my skin and then use a warm flannel to wipe it away and it removes every inch of makeup from my skin, including my waterproof mascara and eyeliner!

I then use the seaweed deep cleansing gel wash to make sure my skin is fully clean. With this I use a tiny dollop and massage it into my already wet skin and then rinse away with cool water. I then dab my face dry with a clean towel. This is so good because it is oil and soap free so it isn't going to cause my oily T zone to get worse and it won't dry my skin out from the soap!

After I have dabbed my face dry, I use a little bit of the Aloe Vera calming toner on a cotton wool pad and just wipe my face with it. What I love about this is that it is fragrance free, colourant free, preservative free and alcohol free so there really isn't much in it that can harm my skin or cause another break out. 

My second to last product is one that I literally use every single day. It is the vitamin E moisture cream specifically for combination skin and it smells divine. It's like a really nice after sun kind of smell with a hint of sun cream and it just gives me the holiday vibes. It is a gel like texture and a little really goes a long way with this. I find a barely need more then two pea sized blobs to cover my whole face. I did start using this on a night too, but it did make my face super greasy the next morning so I just use it on a morning now. 

The last product I bought is the tea tree skin clearing clay mask. This can be used 1-2 times a week and states that with regular use breakouts reduce. Tea tree is such a soothing ingredient so I was super excited to try this. If it is a little too strong, or you do want to use it more than twice a week you can dilute it with water so its not as strong. I try to use this twice a week. Although it is a clay mask it doesn't go really hard on my face so it doesn't dry out my already dry skin!

I will give you guys an update in about a months time to see how my skin is doing with this new beauty routine so stay tuned!

Thanks for reading, 

Birthdays are nature's way of telling us to eat more cake!

Hey Guys!

As you can guess from the title, It has recently been my birthday! Not just any birthday either, but the big 21, the age when you are no longer an adolescent, oh no, a full blown adult. 

Do I feel like an adult? Absolutely...not. As a kid I always thought being 21 would mean I had my whole life together... ha, what a joker!

As it was my 21st, I felt I needed to do something to mark the occasion, and so I had a girls night in, snuggling down with nibbles and fluffy blankets, with wine glasses in hand whilst Harry Potter consumed our evening. I spent the night with my two best friends and it was so nice to have a night off from being a responsible adult, I felt like a teen again with no responsibilities and it was nice to just escape reality for a while and relax. 

I spent Friday shopping with my childhood best friend, Beth, scouring every store for the perfect outfit, having our eyebrows waxed and tinted to perfection, getting prepped and ready for the big night out party and before I knew it, it was time to tan, get some beauty sleep and then it was saturday and I had to rush around getting my false eyelashes put on, my hair done, and then Beth and I traveled to White Rose Center where we had our makeup done professionally at the Kat Von D store, and I was shook. 
To say my tan went super dark, the make up artists managed to find the perfect foundation shade to blend it without me looking orange, they were so friendly and asked me what kind of look I was going for and then worked with me to get it perfect and I honestly cannot believe how good they were. 
I ended up buying their brow pomade in medium Brown and the liquid lipstick Hawkind as well. I am wearing both products in the photos and they are honestly unreal. 

My party was so much fun, Anthony looked after Isabella so that I could let loose and enjoy celebrating my birthday without having to worry about keeping Isabella in her set routines and without having to keep my eye on her 24/7 which was lovely but I missed her so much once she had gone home to bed. However, I thoroughly enjoyed spending time with my gals and just having a giggle and a dance. 

If I am honest though, when I went to the clubs after the party was over, I hated every minute and I just wanted to curl up in bed with a take away and my kindle so maybe I really am a responsible adult after all!

If you want to check out Beth's blog for all things beauty and lifestyle, check her out at

Thanks for reading,

To All The Boys I've Loved Before Trilogy- book review

Hey Guys, 

I'm sure you have all heard about the new Netflix series To All the Boys I've Loved Before, based on the novel by Jenny Han. If you haven't then 1) do you live under a rock?! and 2) watch it, immediately! Well, after falling in love with this very film, I decided to give the books ago. For anyone who loves a good teenage romance; these are for you!

There are three books to this series: To All the Boy's I've loved Before, PS I still Love You and Always and Forever. And right now this is just about my favorite book series. I honestly couldn't put them down. I was hooked from the very first chapter.

To All The Boys I've Loved Before:

"Lara Jean Song keeps her love letters in a hatbox her mother gave her. They aren't love letters that anyone else wrote for her; these are ones she's written. One for every boy she's ever loved--five in all. When she writes, she pours out her heart and soul and says all the things she would never say in real life, because her letters are for her eyes only. Until the day her secret letters are mailed, and suddenly, Lara Jean's love life goes from imaginary to out of control"

P.S. I Still Love You:

"Lara Jean didn't expect to really fall for Peter. But suddenly they are together for real - and it's far more complicated than when they were pretending!
A risqu� video of the two of them has been posted online. Will Lara Jean ever live it down?
Peter is spending more and more time with his ex. Has he still got feelings for her?
A boy from Lara Jean's past has returned, and so too have her feelings for him. Can a girl be in love with two boys at once?"

Always and Forever, Lara Jean:

"Lara Jean is having the best senior year a girl could ever hope for. She is head over heels in love with her boyfriend, Peter; her dad's finally getting remarried to their next door neighbor, Ms. Rothschild; and Margot's coming home for the summer just in time for the wedding. But change is looming on the horizon. And while Lara Jean is having fun and keeping busy helping plan her father's wedding, she can't ignore the big life decisions she has to make. Most pressingly, where she wants to go to college and what that means for her relationship with Peter. She watched her sister Margot go through these growing pains. Now Lara Jean's the one who'll be graduating high school and leaving for college and leaving her family-and possibly the boy she loves-behind. When your heart and your head are saying two different things, which one should you listen to?"

The main character is Lara Jean, an innocent, quirky 16 year old girl and I think I fell in love with her just as much as her boyfriend Peter Kavinsky did. I giggled, outright belly laughed and cried along with her and I found the innocent romance between her and Peter so gripping, I was rooting from them all the way!

The series made me feel so young again, I felt like a love struck teenager pining after fictional characters and wishing he was real. I am not exaggerating when I say these books made me fall in love with the idea of being in love, I smiled until my cheeks ached the entire way out. The ending to the series was perfect, exactly how I had hoped it would, my heart literally ached with love for all the characters and I will definitely be reading them again. 

Jenny Han is an absolutely amazing writer, I thoroughly enjoyed reading her work and I felt like I was right there with Lara Jean and Peter and I really struggled to put this book down, I lapped up each and every page and am already wondering how soon is too soon to start reading them again?

If you haven't read them yet, I highly suggest you get cosy with some fluffy socks, a cuddly blanket and a hot chocolate and just fall in love with the series the way I did. 

It's good to be back!

So much has happened!

Okay so first of all I need to apologize for my severe lack of blogging. If I am being completely honest, I lost all motivation. Not just for blogging but for going to the gym and having a social life in general. I took some time off to really just focus on myself and get my life in some kind of an order.

I will try and keep this update brief as so much has happened. I was made redundant from the casino I worked for, I was there just under 12 weeks. I then had to make a difficult choice between carrying on university or getting a full time job. As a mum to a toddler, this decision was pretty straight forward once I looked at the financial side; and so I now work at Yorkshire Building Society as a mortgage qualifier. Not only does this mean I now feel I barely see Isabella, it means she now has to go to nursery, which I absolutely hate. Don't get me wrong, Kinder-haven is an astounding nursery and the staff are incredible, but I miss her so much when she goes, and even though she has been there nearly 4 months, she still cries for me every single time I drop her off. 
It doesn't get any easier when she does. 

I absolutely love my job, the office environment is so much different to what I expected, everybody genuinely wants to help each other, they're all like one big family and it's nice to be a part of it. The hours I work are pretty good and they are so flexible with my shifts which is a great help for dropping off and picking up Isabella from nursery.

We moved house! We now have a lovely 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom apartment, alright it means walking up two flights of stairs with a toddler every day but it's home, its cosy and warm and much better than my last flat. It's not our forever home though, I am hoping we can find a nice 3 bed terraced house somewhere with a little garden so Isabella can play, but right now, it does nicely. 

I started my driving lessons and I'm honestly not as terrible as I thought I would be, I actually quite enjoy the lessons and I honestly cannot wait to have my own car, it will make day to day life so much easier.

I've been taking things a day at a time, one foot in front of the other, trying to get my head in the right space again and just get a few goals ticked off the list. 

I'm doing okay, I think. 

I'm back to blogging again now, although I am still working out my schedule and how often I want to post, i'm trying to squeeze it in around work and home life, so all I can say is keep an eye out, there will be new content very very soon!

Thanks for reading!

Mummy Madness: Anxiety and Babies!

Hey Guys!

This is my first post in a new series 'Mummy Madness'. All of the posts in this series will be about my day to day life as a mum and the difficulties and challenges, as well as the fun stuff! I hope you like what you read!

As you know, I'm currently juggling being a mum and getting my university degree, and if you saw my last post 'What's next for me?' then you'll also know that I've applied to a University near me in which I will be leaving Isabella with a family member whilst I attend Uni and I've also applied for jobs working nights, which means I will be leaving Isabella with her dad whilst I catch up on sleep... and I am terrified.

The thought of leaving Isabella for even a few hours causes major anxiety for me. My heart races, I feel sick, I start sweating and shaking (It's called a panic attack- my counsellor tells me) and I start to cry. It's sooo silly and frustrating because I know for a fact that Isabella will be more than fine with family and her dad and I know for a fact that she will have loads of fun and probably won't even notice my absence but I still find myself panicking.
 I feel guilty for leaving her and I am terrified she will get hurt and I won't be there, or she will be tired and want mummy cuddles and she will feel abandoned. It's absolutely ridiculous of me to feel like this, but I do and it makes it so hard to make decisions about my own future in regards to my career and the steps I need to take to gain this career. I find myself holding back because I don't want to leave Isabella. 

I constantly have to remind myself that when she turns two, I will have no choice but to leave her because she will need to start attending nursery and if I don't get to grips with my anxiety I will end up holding her back in her development which is obviously the last thing I want to do. When I feel these panic attacks coming on I have to focus on breathing in and out and telling myself she will be fine, that she has been with family and her daddy without me before and she will be absolutely fine but it still takes a while for me to calm down. 

I am really struggling with the idea of going to university and work and not having Isabella with me but I know it is the right thing for me and for Isabella and I know that when I look back on this in a few months time when i'm used to leaving her I will probably laugh at myself for ever worrying in the first place. 

I will keep you guys updated with how leaving her for the first time goes when it happens.

Thanks for reading.