Hi Guys,
So Isabella is now 9 months old. Where has the time gone? I cannot even comprehend how she has got so big so quickly. It feels like only yesterday when my waters broke and I knew I'd be meeting my precious squishy. And now she is a right cheeky madam.
Before I was pregnant, I was heading down a dark and dangerous path. I was depressed and due to that I was out partying every weekend, spending my entire wage each weekend on alcohol and getting in with the wrong crowd. And then I saw those two lines on that test and everything changed. Something clicked inside of me, and a longing I didn't realise I had was fulfilled. It completely changed everything I had ever felt. I was complete, for once in my life I was actually whole. And omg was I excited!
The pregnancy was horrendous though. I had horrible sickness for 20 weeks, constipation, reduced movements. It is definitely not something I want to do again any time soon.
To put it bluntly; I got my sh*t together. I ditched all the 'friends' that were bad influences in my life, I started putting money away, splashing out on baby stuff instead of on myself and I got my own place. A two bedroom flat for me and my little squishy. Although I have had to move back in with my mum for financial reasons, I do my absolute best to provide for Isabella.
Being a mum isn't an easy task but it is worth every single second. My daughter is my best friend, my reason to get up each morning. She makes me want to be a better person, to be the best I can be. I have never felt so proud in my entire life. She truly is my greatest creation and I cherish every single second I have with her because time is so so short.
Becoming a mum has matured me in ways I never thought it would. I no longer have time for drama, or gossip. I keep my friend circle very small, but the friends I do have are absolute diamonds. I don't enjoy drinking or partying anymore, I'd much rather be at home with a bottle of wine knowing my little girl is curled up safely in her bed and that I am there if she ever wakes up needing me.
It is the best experience I have ever had and I am loving every second. Of course, it is exhausting, sometimes I get so frustrated with my life, but I am forever grateful for my little munchkin.
If you are expecting, or have a young baby, then my advice to you is don't worry about what anybody else thinks, you know what is best for your child, you know them better than anybody else. Enjoy every single second. And remember, when you have those moments where you could just scream and pull your hair out; take a deep breath, compose yourself, and tend to your baby with everything you have, because they grow so fast and soon they won't need you as much anymore, and it happens a lot faster than you'd think.
Good luck and love to you all!
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