Since becoming a parent I feel there is so much pressure to get my life together and it overwhelms me.
I feel like if my flat isn't spotlessly clean and if I don't figure out what I want to do with my life then I am ultimately failing as a parent. Now, I know how silly this sounds and how completely ridiculous that is but the feeling is too much sometimes.
It's almost as if everybody has these ridiculously high expectations of me that I can't live up to. Things like; go to work, no-stay at home with your child, don't dye your hair crazy pink because it makes you look immature, don't have piercings otherwise you're a thug- blah blah blah. (I do not think any of these things, I love piercings and crazy hair, I am definitely not saying that the examples I have used are my feelings on these).
It's almost as if I have to look good all the time to show that I am a good mum and that if I were to leave my house wearing my favourite joggers and oversized t-shirt; I will be branded as a lazy mum and therefore a bad mum.
These silly feelings do not come from anyone specifically, nobody has actually said these things to me but for some reason I just feel like everybody is watching and waiting for me to screw up. I know I should not care what other people think, as there is no such thing as a perfect parent, but it really grates on me at times.
I know, for a fact, that I do not need to get my act together as this takes time, like years, to do and I am only 20 and that's a lot of pressure to carry on such young shoulders but it worries me immensely. The only person putting this pressure on me is, well, me.
I hope I am not the only new parent to feel this way. I hope there are many out there who feel similar, not because I want anyone to suffer this horrid feeling, but so I don't feel so alone.
If there are people out there who feel this way I would like to comfort you in the knowledge that you are not alone and that I, too, feel these things. I want you to know that you are doing a fantastic job as a parent, whether as a single parent or a family; you are doing a brilliant job and your child will be so proud of you, as you should be of yourself, as I am of you.
Keep doing exactly what you are doing and don't focus on anybody else but your child because as long as they have a full tummy and are loved by you; they are well looked after. I wish you all the best in raising your children and I know I fully intend to love and cherish every single moment of parenthood and I am trying to let go of these insane pressures that I feel. I hope you do too.
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